I Don't Know

What do you do when you promise on your words to never stop loving the one but the other hand it looks like it just a words?

What do you do when you really sure with

the one, but in reality you just like, liking the other one?

What do you do when you, feel..

in love

with someone else?

What do you do when you know something's bad for you

but you still can't let go?

I, i don't know

I need air

I worry to much

Everything is like, it takes a minute to have a crush on someone, and a hour to like someone but it takes a lifetime to forget someone. I make things complicated, when they probably don't need to be. Right now, i'm lonely, missing somebody, and in love with someone i am probably shouldn't be in love with. It's stupid to miss someone you dind't get along with. But, I don't know, it was nice, you know, having someone you could always fight with. I wish, I dream, and I hope. Sometimes, I look out the window, wondering anything. I don't know why i'm still waiting. It's like;

"..pokoknya gini, ga peduli Dia sama siapa gue sama siapa,

Dia tuh ga akan pernah ilang. Dia punya ceritanya sendiri di hidup gue yang ga bakal semudah itu buat dilupain."

atau

"no matter who enters his life, i will love and adore him more than any of them."

I realize something that i missed all this time. There are certain people who aren't meant to fit into your life no matter you want them to. i currently wake up and realize that thing. But, i finnaly understood what true love meant....love meant that you cared for another person's happinees more than your own, no matter how painful the choices you face may be. hey, but do you know that feeling when you miss someone so much, you can't even breathe? You the one that make that sense. Now what, am I supposed to pretend i never want to see you again? haha funny, how i never know when you and I will meet each other. Where have you been? you never visited my dream again. my wish is you, always. you give me the kind of feeling people write novels about. I love you. I am who I am because of you. You are every reason, every hope, and every dream I've ever had. I love you, and that's all I really now. I think about you a lot more that I probably should. Ahh i'm so tired of that kind of words. i need sleep. i just want to sleep for a couple of days. I've been waiting fo so long.....but he'll never know. I wish the whole world knew. How's that? "you really love him do you?"

_______________

Here. whereas...

I don't know why, but my heart beats faster for you. with a broken heart, that's still beating. I need to stop but i don't know how. I stupidly smile at my phone, when i see your name on the screen hehehe. If you've ever been in love, you'll know the feeling. How time passes so slowly when you're not with them. how they dominate your thoughts an you can almost feel them with you. how when things going well it drives you insane. how when they're not yours...

how you can't stay mad at someone who makes you smile.

He.....makes me feel special.

Dear heart,

so there's this guy that you want me to like but i got no idea. so can you please stop beating so fast when he comes by?

You got my heart beat runnin' away. I don't know what I'm doing. I need to move on with my life. I just don't know how. Eh, hey, ehm, thank you for making me laugh when I'd almost forgotten how to. you taught me how to feel the butterflies over and over and over.

..you just so annoying, sometimes.

"I don't love me. and that's how I understand

why you don't either."