25.8.11

Confession.



Sometimes we waste too much
time to think about
someone who doesn't even
think about us for a second.

I just wanna be with you,
that's all.


I hate feeling like this, you know, like I'm not good enough for someone. I've realized I have no reason to be sad anymore. I'm still sad. And people ask me why, I can't answer, bcs I don't know why. It's like I've gotten so used to it, it's normal. I like being sad, it makes me relieve anyway. Sometimes, it takes a good fall to really know where you stand, true Hayley. I'm not even out of bed and just falling apart. Listening to sad songs when feel sad, and than feeling worse. Thankyou music, for being there when no one else was. You know, there are some days that you feel sad without knowing why. like you lost something very precious, but forgot what it was, or like you miss someone you never met. That feeling is so much distrubing. And everything around me makes me miss you. I miss your smile, but i miss mine more. without having to find the reason why, how, or even from where, youre special. maybe it's me and my blind optimism to blame, or maybe it's you and your sick need to give love and then take it away.



This, this is you and me. Seperated by many, many, many miles. I'm miles from where you are , I lay down on the cold ground. I, I pray that something picks me up and set me down in you. Complicated. like when you don't know where you stand, in a persons life. I hate you, and then I love you. It's like I want to throw you off a cliff, then rush to the bottom to catch you. Duh. One of my friends accused me losing my mind but i swore, i was fine. I see it all now that you're gone. Don't you think i was too young to be messed with kind of this? Akh..I don't know. I just want to make you laugh, just laugh, smile and happy. More than enough. Bcs, I love you not just for now, but for always, and I dream of the day that you'll take me in your arms, the day you wake up, the day you realize. the day that...maybe, i don't know, maybe...not going to happen..maybe?


"
Love is great and possible, always, but
it's very rare to have the feeling that
'I want to be with this person forever'
"

I don't know what to do and i just--All i know is I wanna stay here. I just wanna stay right here with you as long as i possibly can. My nightmares are usually about losing you. you're just all that matters. you're all that matters to me....You.



"Here...here is a series of disappointments..broken only, by dark spells of depression."
__________________________________________________________





"Will you ever be mine?
(Because I'm still patiently waiting for you)"

No comments:

Post a Comment